Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Why did you delete the marriage blog?

I made the painful decision to delete the marriage blog. Why? Because I didn't want it to be a source of fitnah for anyone. Unfortunately, some people were reading the blog like they would a tabloid.

My intention in creating the blog was not so that people can try to figure out who I was speaking about in the examples I gave. My intention was not to provide fodder for gossip or for people to derive some sort of perverse sense of pleasure off of my misery or the misery of others. My intention was to highlight the struggle, sorrows, up and downs, joys and triumphs of single/divorced Muslimahs using myself and my experience as an example. (With a few anecdotes from the lives of other sisters I've had the pleasure of knowing in my life). I also wanted to address issues that are often swept under the rug in the Muslim community. More importantly, I wanted to give voice to my experience.

Unfortunately, some people in my local community have discovered the blog. I fear that some of them will use my words against me. I'm afraid that they will not understand the point I was trying to make but instead twist its meaning. I'm afraid they will take my personal business and gossip about it rather than to use the information to promote much needed dialogue. I also don't want them to make assumptions about which sisters I'm speaking of in my anecdotes. The fact of the matter is, I've lived in several different cities, travel reguarly, and I communicate with sisters (and brothers) across the country and around the globe . Some of them have shared their experiences with me so that I could address issues they've dealt with in my blog. My world is not so small that I have to draw every anecdote and situation from my local community. (Some people need to grow up!) The other thing is, I'd often change the location and sequence of events so that individuals' identity remained protected. The only person I really put on blast was myself (and with good reason I hoped.) Yet, in the end it all comes down to this; fitnah, gossip, assumptions, and the like. I don't want any part of that.

I apologize to all of the sisters (and brothers) who commented on the blog and/or emailed me privately to thank me for boldly discussing issues that were affecting our community and our sisters. In the end, blame the blog's demise on haters and gossip mongers.


working said...

I'm sorry you deleted it, though I understand why. I wish you the best!

Anonymous said...

I will miss your blog, so good luck in the future with all your endeavors.

AND, To all the HATERS,
the truth only hurts when one refuses to acknowledge it. Just because it may sound like your personal business it is not, don't be a narcist the world does not revolve around you.

Wanda said...

First, let me say, I'm glad I had the common sense to remember you had another blog, otherwise, I would have wondered what happened to you! The gossipers must be people with a lot of time on their hands, you don't even post what city you live in!

Sorry that the blog turned out that way. I looked forward to reading it and sad to see it go. Especially since the Eid article was getting some recognition.

I am glad that you and your Blogger account are okay and I wish you the best of luck.

Jamerican Muslimah said...

Thanks working.

anon,Thank you! The world does not revolve around certain people.


In my anger I just deleted the blog. Now when I think about it I should've deleted the entries with an explanation as to why it was no longer in existence. Oh well... Some people have nothing better to do than to play detective on the internet and try to figure out things. It's a sad condition some Muslim women are in. They live and breathe gossip. May Allah protect us all.

P_browngirl said...

I am sorry to hear that you have deleted your blog. Some people really need to get a life of their own. If people dwell on their own life and instead of what other people are doing they would become better muslims. They could have really learned a lot from your advice and situations and others' comments.

Anyway I wish well in this life and the hereafter. Maybe once you move out of this community you will start it up again.

Ma Salaam
Your Muslimah Blog Friend

muslimahlocs said...

as salaamu alaikum and belated eid mubarak.
ahhh...muslims. sorry you felt the need to delete the blog. all the best to you with your own pending marriage.

foreverloyal said...


You've been tagged!

I liked the blog and visited it every now and then. When I saw it was deleted, I figured you had gotten married and I missed it.

I'm sorry that you took it down but sometimes we need to avoid headaches!

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